not a sweet 25

milly and me

dear my best friend: Milly,


we’ve known each other since we were six.

at that time, we were two chubby and happy girls, till now.

I still remember, you are very good in dancing Pendet, it’s in your blood.

I still remember your beautiful Balinese make up, every time you dance.

do you still remember how I can’t spell ‘R’ in a right way?


though I don’t remember our first meet, all I could remember is that we were from different class in kindergarten.

but we were somehow neighbor.

and we were together until elementary.

I still remember you came to my 7th birthday.

you came with your little brother, wore the same outfit.

you with your ‘boyish’ look, and I with my ‘girlie’ look.

you were the only one I invited from school.

our moms were best friend, too.

yeah, they had exactly the same name.


I still remember that you were the one and the first that I told about my first period.

we had our first period, in a same grade.


I still remember that I told you who my elementary ‘crush’ was.

I did your advice to wear black t shirt after school, and apparently he wore the same color t shirt, too!

we both know and still curious about him, until today.


we were apart when junior high school, unfortunately.

I supposed to be in a same school with my crush, yet we were not meant to be together.

I still remember that you were one among popular girls at school.

I still went to your home; even we were in a different school.

do you remember that I once fall in a flood after go to your home? it was fun!

do you still remember that we once had a phone call (from home telephone) for 2 hours long?


and I know that I leave the city.

I moved.

and it was almost like we would never meet again.


glad that I still keep your mobile number.

glad that I still remember your home number.

otherwise, I’ll never meet you again.


I knew that you were a diva in your high school.

I knew about your boyfriend(s) and ex-es.

we were still on call, for more than 2 hours.

once I could go to the city, I will arrange to meet you.

even it was only fifteen minutes, even it was only an hour.

we were grown up.

we passed our teenage without being side-by-side.

you are the one who open my eyes and add ‘diversity’ part in my life.


birthday by birthday, it was always a simple ‘happy bday’ greetings by text.


now here we are, still at different city.

you pursue your dream to be a greatest dentist I’ve ever known.

I sitting in office, always being busy.


I still remember, last year you were here.

we were in a same city, you visited me with your family.

it was my honored, and I hope it was the best gift I could give to you.


because today, I can’t be there.

I still can’t pick up your phone calls.

I still can’t be in your side, when you’re crying.


I still remember, early this month, we met.

I came to city, I spent sixteen hours with you.

gossiping, doing make up, hanging out, shopping, sleepover, and most of all, talking about our life.


neither sixteen hours meet nor three hours phone call, could stop us.

we’re never bored to be together.


this year, must be not a sweet twenty five for you.

you have just face the deep feeling of broken heart.

I might be not the best friend for you,

because I left you.


dozens of your calls, abandoned.

dozens of your texts, left.

I know that I’m the one you want to share with.

but I also realized how a bad friend I am.


sorry is not acceptable.

forgive is not enough.

but I regret it all.


above it all, I would like to deliver a pure happy birthday for you.

be wise, be strong, be forgivable, be independent woman, be yourself.

sounds cliché, but I believe you can.


let the past be the past, be prepared for facing your bright future.

I might not always be there with you, but I’m with you for your decision.

you’re the one who told me not too add fire in a burnt wood.

you’re the one who always try to do the good things, even people treat bad to you.

you’re the most forgivable people I’ve ever known.


always be the good person, Milly as I’ve known.


ps: I’m waiting you at Jogja! 😀


We’re just friend (? / .)

Prolognya minta maaf karena gak update post.
(Minta maaf ke siapa nih? Ke blog.)
Si mas patjar baru pemulihan cedera dari kecelakaan motor, beberapa hari setelah saya post tentang lustrum itu. Mohon doanya, semoga cepat pulih dan bisa boncengin saya lagi.
(Cape coy, jadi eneng tukang ojek mlulu nih…)

So, wiken ini saya sedang super bahagia.
Setelah 5 bulan, saya akhirnya ketemu lagi sama mas Aulia, sahabat saya.
Ngg, saya merasa aneh mengucapkan ‘sahabat saya’, mirip kata-kata ‘szuper…sekali’.
Dan yang kedua, bisa menghabiskan Minggu bersama si mas patjar yang masih jadi robot kaku tangannya.

Beberapa orang akhirnya menanyakan ke saya, are you really do the bestfriend thing with mas Aul?
No strings attached, no baper, no anything? Continue reading “We’re just friend (? / .)”